(A friend sent this to me, so I thought I'd give it a shot. As usual, I'm not tagging anybody, but if you want to play along, feel free.)
Tired of all of those surveys made up by high school kids? ‘Have you ever kissed someone?’‘Missed someone?’ ‘Told someone you loved them?’ ‘Drank alcohol?’ Here are 50 questions for the people who are a little more “mature”…
1. What bill do you hate paying the most? Quarterly payment to the IRS.
2. Where was the last place you had a romantic dinner? Charlotte Plummer's Restaurant in Rockport, Texas.
3. Last time you puked from drinking? Never.
4. When was the last time you got drunk and danced on a bar? Again, never.
5. Name of your first grade teacher? Mrs. Simmons (she was also my next-door neighbor)
6. What do you really want to be doing right now? Fishing off the pier at Rockport Beach.
7. What did you want to be when you were growing up? History teacher, librarian, then writer.
8. How many colleges did you attend? Two
9. Why did you choose the shirt that you have on right now? Comfort
10. Gas prices? I don't pay that much attention to 'em, because I don't drive much.
11. If you could move anywhere and take someone with you? The Texas coast, and Livia, of course.
12. First thought when the alarm went off this morning? "Not today. I can't do it today."
13. Last thought before going to sleep last night? I have no idea.
14. Favorite style of underwear? Boxers
15. Favorite style of underwear for the opposite sex? Skimpy.
16. What errand/chore do you despise? Paying bills (which is why Livia does it, plus the fact that she's more organized and efficient)
17. If you didn't have to work, would you volunteer? Probably.
18. Get up early or sleep in? Get up early, at least these days.
19. What is your favorite cartoon character? Bugs Bunny.
20. Favorite non-sexual thing to do at night with a girl/guy? Watch a good movie.
21. Have you found real love yet? Yes.
22. When did you first start feeling old? When we had kids.
23. Favorite 80s movie? Ferris Bueller's Day Off.
24. Favorite lunch meat? Sliced turkey.
25. What do you get every time you go into Sam's Club or Wal-Mart? Ice cream.
26. Beach or lake? Beach.
27. Do you think marriage is an outdated ritual? No.
28. How many people do you stalk on Facebook? Not sure what this means. I don't think I stalk anybody.
29. Favorite guilty pleasure? Soapy TV dramas.
30. Favorite movie you wouldn't want anybody to find out about? None. I have no shame when it comes to movies I like.
31. What's your drink? Root beer.
32. Cowboys or Indians? Cowboys. (What can I say, I grew up in the Fifties when there were dozens of Westerns on TV.)
33. Cops or robbers? Cops. ("Just the facts, ma'am.")
34. Who from high school would you like to run into? My old buddy Gary Looney.
35. What radio station is your car radio tuned to right now? Platinum 97 (97.9 FM) (oldies)
36. Norm or Cliff? Norm.
37. The Cosby Show or The Simpsons? The Simpsons, no contest.
38. Worst relationship mistake that you wish you could take back? Too many to list.
39. Do you like the person who sits directly across from you at work? Not applicable.
40. If you could get away with it, who would you kill? I can't think of anybody.
41. What famous persons would you like to have dinner with? Drawing a blank on this one, too. Probably a bunch of writers.
42. What famous person would you like to sleep with? Come on, I thought these were questions for grown-ups.
43. Have you ever had to use a fire extinguisher for its intended purpose? No, and what else could you use a fire extinguisher for?
44. Last book you read for real? PEEPSHOW by Leigh Redhead.
45. Do you have a teddy bear? No.
46. Strangest place you have ever brushed your teeth? A hotel room. (I haven't been in many strange places, obviously.)
47. Somewhere in California you've never been and would like to go? Death Valley. (I've used it as a setting in numerous novels and would like to see if I got it at least somewhat right.)
48. Do you go to church? Only for funerals and weddings.
49. At this point in your life would you rather start a new career or a new relationship? A new career, if I have to choose, but neither, really.
50. Just how old are you? 56, but I've always felt older than I am.
The great Ken Levine on"Ant Man" and others
2 hours ago